11 Months

I can't believe E is now 11 months old. She is doing so well and has come so far. We have to wait until her 12 month appointment to know how much she weighs but I would guess she is about 20 lbs. We switched her to her convertible car seat a few weeks ago (rear facing of course) and it has been so nice not struggling with the infant seat. She looks like such a big girl in her new seat. She is now crawling all over the place and with great speed. We have taken to barricading her into the living room with storage bins. I know a little low class but we just have not had time to get a gate. The bins actually work quite well and we can put toys on top for E to play with. Additionally Darwin can jump over so we are not constantly getting up to open the gate for him. Ella has mastered pulling to a stand and starting to cruise a little bit. She spends much of her day pulling to a stand, sitting down, and then pulling back up. She is very funny when she goes down and very carefully looks to see what she is doing before lowering herself down. She is babbling more and more these days and is definitely repeating her consonant sounds. Just today she was saying mamama. Not that she was saying it with purpose but it was nice to to hear as she tends to babble dadadada a lot. This week she learned to clap (finally!) which is good since I was getting a bit worried about her lack of clapping and waving. Still waiting for the wave but I think she is getting close.

I am anxiously counting down the last days of school. Just 5.5 days with kids left! I was smart and the kids are doing presentations Monday-Wednesday this week leaving just Thursday for a wrap up activity, Friday a field trip, and Monday graduation. I can't wait to have my summer to spend with my family! I have secured a part time consulting job for the summer which will require me to work 20 hrs/week from home. I am very excited about this as the money will be great to have saved when Shazam goes back to school.

Shazam mentioned in the last post that we have started planning Little E's first birthday party. I must admit that I am going a little crazy about planning the details of this festivity. We are having a pink owl theme and I have found a shop on etsy to make some party items to coordinate with our invites. I am pretty sure that it will be pretty cute. I know that some people think that having an elaborate birthday party for a one year old is stupid and the rational side of me agrees, but for me this party is much more than a first birthday party. For me I am reclaiming the day. I can confidently say that July 10th 2009 was one of the worst days of my life. It was also the best day of my life. I have never been so scared and so sick in my entire life. Shazam and I have tried to put on a brave face about the events of the day and put a positive spin as we told the story of Ella's birth but in reality things were bad. I would say they were just about as bad as they get. I was on a morphine drip to control the epigastric pain I was experiencing (a pain that was so severe they thought my liver had ruptured), I was on a mag drip to keep me from having a seizure, the lights were off so that my nervous system was not stimulated, my blood pressure was so high they thought I was going to have a stroke, my kidneys shut down, as did my liver. Little E was in equally tough shape. She was small and measuring weeks behind her 30 weeks gestation. While she did cry when she was born she scored a 2 on the apgar. She was intubated and not breathing on her own. Ella was born at 1 pm and quickly whisked to the nicu. Shazam and I would not see her again until after 8 pm when they wheeled me in on a gurney. I spent the first night as a mother weeping in Shazam's arms as I was bombarded with the sounds other people's babies crying in the adjacent rooms. As July 10th approaches I am relieving those terrifying days in the hospital before her birth and the 69 days of terror that we lived through after she was born. It all is still very fresh and still very raw for me. It is my hope that by concentrating on E's party I can fill July 10th 2010 with some beautiful memories that will perhaps help soften the not so pretty ones that I live with now. So if I think ordering cute birthday banners will help me feel better that gosh darn it all I will do it. I personally think I deserve it!

Well That Is Embarrassing

Wow. I'm embarrassed by my blog slacking personally and just in general. I have no good excuse except that being a mom has kind of swallowed me up a bit. I guess that's why moms make reference to "losing themselves" a bit. I'm totally consumed with Little E, diapers, laundry, etc.. To say I'm looking forward to SSG being done school in a couple weeks is an understatement and I will probably regret this later, but I am looking forward to school starting in September. I don't really consider myself on overly extroverted, social person but damn to I crave adult interactions.

I also don't want to come off like I am complaining that I've had the opportunity to stay home for a bit. I think I've done a pretty good job considering I don't think I am a natural at this. Little E is thriving and a super-happy baby. She will be 11 months old next week (what?!), she is probably around 20 pounds, she's doing a great job eating, she crawls like a champ, she pulls to standing, NEVER stops moving all day long, babbles all day long, and now has two teeth! I find it unreal that we are starting to plan her birthday party.

On the mommies front, I think we are fairing well. We are enjoying our time with her and E makes us laugh all the time. We are especially functioning better because E sleeps from about 7:00 to 7:30 on a regular basis. It's heaven and dammit we deserve it! This sleeping thing only happened around mid-April so it was a long haul or at least it felt like it. SSG is so ready for school to be over. I know juggling parenthood and working full-time has been no easy task. She really has handled it like a champ. I really admire her for that. Beyond being home with the girl I have over the past couple months tried to pick up some projects here and there to earn a little cash. I am in the middle of an interior paint job right now and have 3 jobs after that. I feel like I'm running myself a little ragged with lots of working on weekends and in the evening but it needs to be done. It's how I feel I can contribute financially. It makes me feel good which I need as the fact of unemployment for over a year now really weighs on me.

So last Saturday we took the ferry to Provincetown to spend the day there. We have friends that have a place there on the beach so it was great to see them, walk around, introduce E to the beach, and also nice to have a home base. We had a great time but holy crap was it exhausting. The ferry each way is an hour and a half...it was a looong hour and a half. E wants to move allll the time so it's exhausting. Add that we sad across from this pretentious jackass that went on about the private schools he sent his kids to, the huge house he had, and how successful he is. I wish I had a picture of his face when I said I was going to school to get my masters in social work. He didn't get it and to have a job where you didn't make tons of money just didn't compute. God I hate people like him. Anyway, like I said we had a great day and E was pretty good considering she only slept like 30 minutes the whole day. Here are some shots from our day!

We have a tooth!

Little E turned 10 months old on Monday and today her first tooth is just pushing out from her gums. She was extra cranky this past weekend waking up multiple times in the night and not able to get herself back to sleep. I was beginning to think that she was going to be the toothless wonder forever.

Little E also learned two new tricks last week. She finally figured out how to get from the crawl position to sitting. I must say it is very strange to find her in her crib sitting up and waiting for me to pick her up. Little E also pulled herself up to standing by herself for the first time. She is really making progress with her gross motor skills these past few weeks. She is a crawling freak of late. She still mostly army crawls but throws in a few real "steps" crawling off her belly.

Little E has a new favorite food. She loves pasta. Little E has been doing better and better with table foods. She now eats puffs and yogurt drops like a pro. She also did quite well with cooked carrots. We also introduced a sippy cup with a straw this week and she loves it. She happily sips away on her water. It is the cutest thing.

Well not much else going on here. I will try to get a shot of the tooth when it really makes its appearance in the next few days.

Mother's Day and March for Babies

Today was our first Mother's Day as Moms. It was a wonderful day. It started with waking up with Little E in bed with us (well it really started at about 3am with Little E waking up screaming due to a tooth we think is coming in). It was so amazing to look over and see both my baby and my wife with me. We snuggled for a while and then we got up. Little E gave Mommy her card and Little E gave Mama her card and her present. It seems that Little E and Mommy broke the rules and bought a gift for Mama. My wife is too nice to me. After drinking coffee and feeding Little E some breakfast we got ready to go to brunch at one of my favorite restaurants. It was super yummy and Little E did great and was very well behaved in the restaurant. A few mimosas later and I was one very happy Mama. We spent the rest of the day doing some shopping at the local mall and finished off our day with taking Little E to the grocery store for the first time. I know that may seem crazy that 1. I am excited enough about this to blog about it and 2. I spent part of my first mother's day doing it. But as a preemie mom simple things like going to grocery store with my baby mean so much to me. When Little E was first born I didn't know if Little E would ever be well enough to come home from the hospital, forget healthy enough to go to the grocery store. Then when Little E finally did come home, RSV season and the lock down that it causes kept us from doing so many of those normal mommy baby things that I had so looked forward to before I had Little E. Being able to take Little E into the grocery store is a step in healing for me. It is normal, it is a tiny step in reclaiming some of motherhood that I lost when Little E was born prematurely. All in all it was a perfect mother's day. It was spent with both my girls and it was all I could have ever dreamed of.

Yesterday we did the March of Dimes March for Babies. It was a wonderful experience and I am so glad that we walked. Team Bumble Bee raised $1723! The weather was terrible all morning right up to the start of the walk. It cleared as the walk was beginning and we walked mostly rain free except for a few showers. While it would have been amazing to walk in the sun it was still beautiful and so inspiring to see all the people who showed up in the rain to help prevent premature birth and birth defects. My best friend, her daughter, my parents, Shazam's best friend, and one of Little E's doctors walked with us. Little E slept through the entire walk and was fabulous the whole time. She was also snug as a bug in a rug in her snazzy stroller rain cover. Yet another reason to love the quinny.

One of the most heartbreaking parts of of the day were the families walking for babies who died. We walked behind one of those families and spent many moments in our 3 mile walk thinking about how that could have been us. How, for what ever reason, we were the lucky parents who got to bring their baby home and be able to experience the blessing of watching them grow. It is so easy sometimes to get caught up with all the things I missed out on, walking behind that family reminded me of all that I have.

I am looking forward to the walk next year and have already started fundraising. I have decided that I am going to save all the dimes we get in change for the entire year. We already have a jar where we collect our change and I just added another jar for the dimes. I think it will be a great way of keeping the work of the March of Dimes in my mind throughout the year. I also think it will be a wonderful way to introduce charity and giving to Little E when she is old enough. I hope some day Little E will be bringing her own jar of dimes to the walk.

Whether you carry them in your arms or in your heart happy Mother's day to all the Moms out there.

Go Team Bumble Bee

Next weekend our family and friends will be walking to save babies like Ella, born too soon. You can help us reach our goal by sponsoring us on our walk. Team Bumble bee has raised $855 of our $1000 goal.

Ella is the happy and healthy 9 month old she is today because of research funded by the March of Dimes.
It is easy to forget that Ella was ever sick, but she started her life stuggling to breath. She spent her first night of life intubated and recieving life saving surfactant instead of in her mothers' arms.


I know that times are tough for everyone but every little donation helps. Perhaps you would like to donate $10.40 one penny for every gram of Ella's birth weight or $18.04 for her current weight of 18lbs 4 oz.

Just the Facts

We are back from a great doctors appointment and all is well with Little E. We just had her EI eval so we just breezed by her developmental milestone stuff. She is behind in most areas but not by much. The exception of expressive language but we know that already. She is healthy as a horse and charmed the pants off the doctor. She weighed in at 18lbs 4oz (the 31st percentile), is 26.5 inches long (the 20th percentile), and her head circumference is 18.5 cm (my baby has a big noggin at 60th percentile). She had to get one shot and barely cried just a little yelp and then nothing. It is always great to get a good check up. In 9 months Little E has gained almost 16 pounds, pretty impressive for a baby who for the first few months we measured her growth in grams. Good thing we just ordered the convertible car seat...her bucket only goes to 20 lbs!

Have a great weekend everyone!

PS There is a great deal on amaz.on for the Britax Boulevard. The moonstone pattern is 21% off with an additional 15% off at checkout! If you are in the market for a great seat I would check it out!

Fun

This week has been so much fun. It makes me so excited about my summer vacation and weeks of spending all day everyday with my girl! We have been so busy with exciting adventures every day, it has been heaven.

The big news of the week is that Little E has moved into her own room. We decided to move her prior to the official end of RSV season (May 1st) so that we could sleep train her and transition her to her crib while I didn't have to go into work. It has gone so well! The first night she was up about 6 times but she was able to be soothed back to sleep without having to pick her up or bring her back to our room. The next nights she has either slept throughout he night or has woken up once or twice and put herself back to sleep. While I miss having my bumble bee right next to me in bed I know all of us are sleeping better. E is even napping better and has been in a super mood all week. Because of this we have been able to follow through on all the exciting things we had planned.

Saturday we left the house early for NH to pick up Mimi (Shazam's mom) and continue on to Great Mimi (Big E) and Great Buba's house. We had not been since my last vacation and it was great to see them enjoying Little E and all her cuteness. She played on the floor, smiled, and showed them all her new tricks. She was happy and sociable the whole time. We returned to Shazam's parents in the afternoon and stayed through dinner. E was able to sleep during all our drives so she was very well rested.




We had planned on going for a visit to the NICU on Monday but since the Boston Marathon was being run straight through our route to the hospital we decided to go on Sunday. It was a great visit. Our primary nurse Traci was there and it is always great to see her. I swear E totally recognizes her voice and went right to her and was all smiles. While some people find it really stressful to go back and visit the nicu I have the totally opposite reaction. I love going. I feel so connected to the place that made it possible to be a mom, which saved Little E's life, the place we became a family. It also helps remind me of how lucky we are to have our wonderful Little E strong and growing with us.




While we were waiting for Traci to come out to the waiting room Little E started making eyes at a group in the waiting room. They were surprised to hear that she was a NICU graduate. They were shocked to hear that E was a 30 weeker and only weighed 2 pounds 5 ounces at birth. The group was there to visit their 32 week grandchildren/nieces that were born that weekend. They all had that fresh to the NICU glaze on their faces. It felt good to be able to see some relief on their faces to see that those tiny (3 and 4 pound babies) that they were peering at in plastic boxes would hopefully grow and become chubby healthy babies like Little E. When E was in the hospital I can't tell you how many times I looked at the before and after photo collages hanging on the walls of the nicu. It gave me hope on even the darkest days that those babies made it and so would E. I hope seeing Little E helped that family like the photo collages helped me.

Monday we took a walk to our favorite coffee shop and grabbed lunch and iced lattes. Little E loved watching the people come in and out and I think she smiled and flirted with every person who passed her by.

Wednesday I got my hair cut and colored. I have not colored my hair since my wedding and have only gotten 2 haircuts since E was born. It was so nice to be pampered and I do say I look pretty cute too.

Today we took Little E to her playgroup. She had one moment where she was a little unsure of being there and stuck her bottom lip out momentarily but she settled in quite well and played with the toys and had a good time. She loved the music part as usual and was very vocal. It was so great to put faces to the names that Shazam talks about every week.

After playgroup we went for a quick bite to eat and E did wonderfully. She is really liking sitting in a high chair and checking out everything around her. It doesn't hurt to supply her with puffs either.

Tomorrow Grammie is coming to watch Little E and Shazam and I are going to get pedicures. I am so excited about this as my feet need some pampering. With my new hair and my new toes I will be all set for summer. Later in in the day Little E has her 9 month doctors appointment. I can not wait to see how much the little porker weighs. Saturday we are going to the sheep sheering festival that is happening in town. Sunday wraps up my vacation with a birthday party for a friend's child.

I am sad to see my vacation ending but I am looking forward to getting back to work. Only 35 more school days until summer vacation begins. The sooner I get back the sooner it will be Little E, Shazam, and Super Sammy G back together for the whole summer! Since we totally missed last summer while Little E was in the hospital I am so looking forward to 4th of July celebrations, P-town, and the Lake!