Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Bad Blogger

I think I may have burned myself out last month I have been slacking on the blog. Sorry readers.

It has been a busy few weeks and although I do have lots to write about it all seems to be swirling in my head a bit. The big change coming up is me going back to work on January 4th. I am really really really sad to be leaving my cosy nest with my family to return back to the real world. I am going to miss my girls so much and can't help be a little jealous of Shazam and that she gets to stay home with little E. I am so afraid of missing something while I am gone. I am sure to miss the first time she sits by herself or crawls or stands up and I hate that. I always knew I would be returning to work so this is no surprise to me but it still sucks all the same.

Shazam and I have been together almost constantly since the end of June when school got out. I can count the times we did something apart on one hand while Little E was in the hospital and since she has been home we do venture out solo only because Little E can't go anywhere. This is going to be a huge adjustment for all of us (although little e will probably not really notice). It sounds like we are codependant but I don't think so. This whole adventure has really mad us closer and our bond stronger. Strange as this sounds I think I will treasure these past few months more than any other time in my life. I have loved this time where it was just Shazam, Little E and me against the world and I know I will be counting down the days until summer vacation when I can be with my girl all day again.

On top of dreading leaving my family I am so stressed about actually having to teach again. I have a demanding job. It is stressful and busy and I am going to have a tricky situation to return to. My sub has a very different teaching style than I do. I am a fun teacher the kids like me, but I also have very high expectations. I give work and expect it to be done and done well. My sub on the other hand seems to have dropped the ball on this. He doesn't give homework most of the time and when he does he doesn't check it. He had 2 grades for the first term, I have 4-5 a week. These kids are going to be in for a rude awakening. I think he is a pretty nice guy and he knows his content well enough but 2 grades for goodness sake this isn't college it is 8th grade they need more than 2 grades. So the new year is going to start with a new sherif in town. I know some kids will be happy to be challenged and others will like the structure my class will provide but I know there will be some that are really pissed off that they have to work and will be whining and kicking about it all the way until June. I am going to try to ease them in a bit but at some point we are all going to have to jump into the deep end and swim.

I have tried to start at least thinking about what I will be doing when I get back. I am really scattered and can't seem to get my head around most stuff. I need to write my parent letter and some information sheets but I just can't get my head around where to start. I guess a list of things to do might help but that even seems overwhelming. I want to be able to send some things to a colleague to photocopy before I return so I guess I should start with that.

Well early intervention will be here in an hour and I am still in my pajamas. Should probably put some clothes on and perhaps brush my hair.


nutella said...

I get it. Those times when it's just the 3 of us are the ones I cherish most of all.

Hope the return to work is easier that you fear and that the kids all love you for the taskmistress that you are!

Meegs said...

Here's a little something for either of you, both of you, all three of you! :-)

I gave you the Happy 101 Award. Check out my blog post here: http://meegs1982.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-cards-and-award.html to see what its all about.


Jenny said...

I teach, also, and I know exactly what you mean about the difficulty of stepping in and being the more demanding teacher. It's so much harder to ramp up a start of lax demands than it is to start out tough and then ease up as the year progresses!

That said, I hope you can find that going back to work is a rewarding experience even though it's not the same as staying home full time. I am finding the balance of working to be much more fun than I expected!