We are back from VT and somehow the car was filled with a dozen bagels, 5 lbs of honey (uncle is a commercial bee keeper), some grass fed beef, 1/4th of a pumpkin pie, fabulous handmade chocolate, 2 pairs of new shoes, and two Sabra Field wood block prints. Boy did we make out well. We had a great time at the inn and would totally recommend the Deerbrook Inn for anyone looking for a place to stay in Woodstock. My uncle's farm was great and it was really good to see my family. The last time we were up was for my Aunt's funeral last spring so it was a much nicer time (obviously). The weather was nice and we were able to take a nice walk in the woods and collect some greens and some other things for my Mom's holiday decorating. I will post pictures when I upload them from the camera. The 2ww has been ok so far and we are very positive this time. I feel like the insem went really well and am having positive thoughts about Eggy II sticking around. I will leave you with our new pieces which brings our Sabra Field "collection" to three. Obviously the digital pictures don't do them justice at all and they add some great color to our living room.
Shazam and I are back from out iui and it went so smoothly. The midwife I had was so great. First of all it took a grand total of 5 sec for her to insert the catheter and put the swimmers into place. She was awesome. I also learned how one can insert a speculum with out any discomfort. The midwife had me do a keigel when she inserted it and it was so much more comfortable. Gee I wish someone taught me that trick at my first pap 15 years ago. Also my cervix has always been a bit of a challenge to find and she told me where to tell people in the future to find it. So helpful (it is to the back and left if you were wondering). She also made sure I was relaxed and happy when the swimmers were put in and announce "let's make a baby!" It was great. We really liked our first midwife and I liked this one even more. So the swimmers were their very active swimmy selves and my cervix was wide open with tons of ewcm. So all looks good. Now Eggy 2 and the swimmers need to cooperate and stick in the uterus.
We are off to Vt after school is out at 11:30 tomorrow. The weather looks like it will be cooperating. Yeah! So only one class to teach tomorrow and a study hall last period to survive and we will be on our way to Woodstock and after a restful night at the B&B it is on to the farm in Fair Haven.
We have an IUI appointment today at 2:00 and this time around is much more relaxed. Well I can't speak for my wife who is actually having the procedure but she seems pretty chill about the whole thing. Last time was a complete cluster-fuck with midwives not calling us back, miscommunication, and the whole squeezing the IUI in before we drove up to NH. This time it's easy. SSG gets out a little early today anyhow and I'm just taking some personal time which isn't a big deal since, as I've mentioned, there isn't much going on around my office. We're just chillin' this time and we'll see what happens with Eggy II.
On Friday I dragged Shazam to a middle school play, a musical no less (sooo not her thing). If you have never been to one of these musical extravaganzas as an adult that doesn't have a child well you are missing some really good comedy. Katie, the girl I nanny for was in her schools production of Into the Woods. For the most part it was not painful and had some truly funny parts including a girl who stole the show playing a cow whose front legs were toilet plungers and the moment when Little Red almost ripped her dress off when she caught it on a prop tree. The show was short and Katie did great. I was very proud. At the end of the show we were waiting with Katie's parents for Katie to come out and an older woman approached us to congratulate Katie's parents on the job well done. She was Anna's grandmother. When she walked away Katie's mother asked me if I knew who she was. It was then that it occurred to me that Anna was Anna Goodridge. So of course I looked up to the group of obviously gay and lesbian audience members and there stood the Goodridges. I should really say THE GOODRIDGES, as Goodridge vs. Massachusetts department of health. I was instantly star struck. Two rows away from me were the women who made it possible for Shazam and I to get married. So there I stood in a school auditorium starring at them. I wanted to go up to them and thank them to tell them how much I appreciated how much they have done. I just couldn't take my eyes off them. I had to leave so that I wouldn't make a fool of myself. So that was my brush with fame and I wish I could have thanked them. What I have is because of them and I don't forget for a minute that the fight is not over and we all still have so much work to do.
So I started testing for ovulation this morning. I wasn't expecting it today but I had some ewcm (egg white cervical mucus sorry if that is tmi) last night. I have been ovulating on day 18 or 19 but since last cycle was 32 days long I don't know if this one will be all thrown off as well. Oh the joys of ttc and obsessing about my bodily functions. If I had gotten my period on time then today would be day 17 and I would be getting a pos. opk on Sat or Sunday. I need to buy some new opks today so I have a fresh supply. I am really hoping that I ovulate early so that we don't have a conflict with Thanksgiving. Keep your fingers crossed. Since I drove myself crazy last month with testing really early and way too much I am going to try and wait the full 14 days before testing. Since I have no idea how long my period will be this month (30 or 32) I think I will try and wait to test until the full 14 days of the 2 week wait (if I have not started my period). I am not sure if I will succeed and this but perhaps Shazam will hide the hpts for me so that it is at least a little more difficult for me to cave in and test. We will have to see how it goes and if Eggy II does not cooperate and I ovulate on Thanksgiving then this whole discussion is irrelevant anyway.
On another note I second Shazam's excitement about our pet free weekend. Don't get me wrong I love the animals but a break is always nice and I can't wait for my yummy breakfast at the inn. I also want to look at some art. There are some really nice galleries in Woodstock and I would love to see what they have. We bought a wonderful painting on our honeymoon and have some other small pieces that we have bought over the last few years. I would really like to keep adding to our "collection" so perhaps we will find something that would brighten our living room up a bit.
This is our painting and we choose it because it captured the feel and look of Curacao and we wanted something that would always remind us of out honeymoon. We love it and I am so glad we made the choice to buy it.
Have a great weekend and we will keep you posted on any developments on the Eggy II front.
Well the week of Thanksgiving is approaching quickly and we may be attempting IUI #2 next week. As SSG mentioned she very well may get a positive on the OPK on Wednesday which means IUI on Thanksgiving which is not going to happen. We'll be in Vermont in the middle of no where. We alternate Thanksgivings so this happens to be a SSG year. We've talked about it and we're actually pretty chill about the possibility of not being able to try this month. I mean why get upset about something you can't control? I also think we're going to benefit from having been through one IUI before. We know what's going to happen, how it works, etc.. We will be more relaxed about the whole process and that is a good thing.
1. For those wondering why I can blog at 9:45am and write about "miscellaneous items" it's because I'm bored out of my mind at work. I'm on what I like to call a "sinking ship" which means I have one project right now that doesn't take up 8 hours a day. SSG is VERY nervous that I'm going to lose my job and I may be a moron for thinking we may be able to right this ship. What can I say, I'm loyal to a fault.
2. In reference to item #1, I've made it through 3 lay-offs in 2 years. I'm still hoping to get a t-shirt that says something like, "I Survived 3 Lay-Offs and All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt"
3. Moving on to more fun things...we're going up to Vermont a day early after SSG gets out of work and staying in one of our favorite places, Woodstock, VT on Wednesday night. It's a good half way point. Cute town with cute shops, and a few art galleries which we love.
4. Best part of this mini-getaway? NO ANIMALS!! Cat is obviously staying home and the hound is going to doggie camp for a few days. We both need a break from the cat doing the following:
a. Scratching the hell out of the side of the mattress and doing that from about 3:30-5:30am
b. Viciously mauling/biting our ankles, feet, etc.. I think we're her prey.
c. Obsessively trying to get behind things that are hung on the walls. She scratches and meows at things on walls. She's a freak.
The dog is not innocent by any means and we won't miss the following for those couple of days:
a. His barking at anyone/anything that comes within a 15 foot radius of our apartment.
b. Coming home when we go out at night to find he has found a way to destroy something/make a mess/eaten something he shouldn't have/chewed the cat's toys (I could go on)
c. The obsessive licking sounds you hear when we're trying to get to sleep. He's a male dog so he REALLY enjoys licking his own junk. Classy.
Well, that is all I have for now...guess I better go back to work...whatever that means.
The last week and a half I have felt so conflicted. My mom called right after the election and asked it I was as excited as she was. I had to tell her that while I am really happy (which is an understatement) about Obama being elected I am also sad about the passing of prop. 8. I guess it is hard to be ecstatic when over half a state voted to ban your family. I know it is only the beginning but it makes me scared for my future children. I guess I sometimes forget that not everyone lives in the happy little bubble of Massachusetts. It seems so crazy that people would fight so hard and spend so much money so that they could take my right to marry away. I feel so attacked and so sad about the whole thing. It just reminds me of how far we still have to go. If you have not seen this clip yet it is worth the time watching.
On Sunday Shazam and I went with my parents to pick out their Christmas tree. My mother has been wanting to go to the tree farm near her, pick it out, and then cut it down for years. We finally made it happen and it was really fun. We actually just tagged the tree and will return on December 2oth to pick it up (we opted not to cut it down ourselves). The farm opened last week so many of the trees were already chosen but we got one we liked and I think it made my mother's year! Wow did we get some brownie points! The weather was great and it quite warm which made the process much more pleasant. After we picked it out we went to the barn to pay and there was free hot cider! How much better could it be? What was really cool was that many of the trees that had been chosen were decorated. I think my mother is returning so that our tree does not feel neglected and naked. I am sure we will be doing this next year and my mom is already thinking about decorations. While we were walking around I couldn't help think that I can't wait to take own children to pick out a tree. Maybe next year. Does this mean I am turning into my mother??? Here are some pictures of the the big event:
A view of some baby trees and the raspberry bushes.
My Dad tagging the tree.
Shazam and my Mom. It is too bad they don't get along!
So my period started this afternoon. I am sad and frustrated and disappointed. So we begin again. The only snafu is that I am due to ovulate the week of thanksgiving and we will be in VT. Since this cycle was so crazy I don't really know what to expect. Well at least now I know. Even though it is not what I wanted. I knew it was too easy to be true.
So yes I took the consumer report recommended First Response Early Response test tonight with the same result as the other tests. Negative. This is driving me crazy. Shazam and I are now beginning to show the signs of stress and are snipping at each other over stupid shit. I emailed our Dr. today but she was out of the office so I got no response. I guess I could have called the midwife who did the insem. to see if I could go in for a blood test but I am trying to be patient. The thing is I will be ok with not being pregnant. I mean don't get me wrong I will be disappointed but not discouraged. The likely hood of getting pregnant on the first try is small so we are both ready for another try. I just want to know what the plan is. So it is Friday night and I am trying to relax and failing miserably. This week has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I was really positive all day but now I am back in the valley. Could stress really change my cycle this much? Could I be pregnant? I will be going to bed soon so I can wake up again and spend some quality time with my friends FRER! Night people. As soon as I know anything I will let you know.
SSG and I don't really know what to make of it, but she has yet to get her period. She was supposed to get it yesterday. Is Eggy I hanging on? Did we jump the gun and test way too early and therefore jump to the conclusion that she wasn't preggers? I've said this before but right now it's all about being cautiously optimistic. I think we decided to see if she gets through today and if she does we'll test tomorrow. I think. What up with all this freakin' waiting?!
So I have yet to get my period but have little hope that I am pregnant. I expect to start this afternoon. I tested this morning with the hope that I could have been pregnant but had not produced enough hcg to test positive yesterday. Alas not so much. I was holding out hope that since I have a short luteal phase (11 days) that I would test positive later. The early pregnancy tests say that you can test up to four days before your missed period. This is assuming a 28 day cycle and ovulation at day 14. I have a 30 day cycle and ovulated at day 20 (+opk on cd19). According to my understanding of human reproductive biology (which is limited) if I had fertilized an egg it should have implanted and thus started to produce hcg on day 8piui. In an "average" woman's cycle that would would be cycle day 22 of 28 and would give a woman 6 days to produce hcg before missing a period. In my case day 8piui is 28 of 30 day cycle. Which only gives me 2 days to produce hcg before missing a period. So if a pregnancy test is only can detect hcg 4 days before a missed period or on day 24 of 28 then it takes about 2 days from implantation to build up enough hcg in the urine to get a positive test. So my question is this... do I still have hope? I guess I am grasping at biochemistry at this point but I still want to hang onto hope at least till I start to bleed. Sorry for this brain dump. It has been floating around in my noggin and I just had to let it out. I am generally not this obsessive but this baby making thing has pushed me over the edge. ************************************* On another note I am very much looking forward to welcoming eggy II to the conversation. One of my good friends told me this morning that I should be a little sad today but that I have a new cycle to look forward to and that she always looks forward to her fresh start each month. It made me feel much more hopeful this morning. So back to fertility friend and data collection for the two of us (which we both love more than is normal, I guess that is what you get with a math teach and a science teacher) Thanks Elysha! ************************************** Also thanks to "all" our readers. Your support makes it all a whole lot better!
With sadness and a little disappointment it appears that Eggy I perhaps doesn't want to stick around this month. SSG should get her period tomorrow and the woman is like clockwork. She got a negative test this morning and has had her normal premenstrual symptoms over the past 2 days. SSG was really sad last night and this morning and it just broke my heart. I've been trying to be upbeat for her but let her know it's okay to feel sad and try to remind her that it was just our first try. It seems to rarely happen on attempt #1. Looks like we'll be trying again 3-4 days before Thanksgiving and rightly so, the next one shall be named Eggy II.
Thanks for all your positive thoughts and well wishes everyone!