Wow. I just looked back and it's been like 2 months since I posted anything. The reason? My guess would be that over the past 3 months there has been so much going on that I just get overwhelmed with my own thoughts, worries, etc.. In looking back and kind of checking in with myself now, I honestly also think it's taken me this long to recover from the trauma of July 8th, the night I drove a pregnant SSG to the emergency room. I'm not sure I talked about it enough and I also didn't feel like I had time to dwell on it. We suddenly were thrust into parenthood and life in the NICU. I also didn't want to come off as "Whoa is me" because the result was a good one and we have a beautiful daughter and I have a healthy wife. Not everyone in our situation can say that. It's just an experience that one isn't prepared for and something you can't understand if you haven't gone through it.
It's all very surreal that we are now responsible for this little being and I think at times I too find this overwhelming. It's a good overwhelming, don't get me wrong. It's just initially when she came home I found myself kind of taking a deep breath and saying to myself, "Ok, we can do this". NOTHING prepares you for parenthood. I don't care who you are or what you tell yourself. I mean SSG and I are in our mid-thirties and have endless experience with babies/kids and guess what? At times is still difficult. I find it rather amusing to hear really young people talk about having kids and there kind of "this will be easy" attitudes. Heck I think some people think that babies are like cute accessories. Here's what I've learned...it's not all freakin rainbows and butterflies. There are highs and lows but the other thing I've learned is that nothing prepares you for just how much you can instantly love this little being. Little E is amazing and I look at her with such awe every single day. She's our little feisty fighter.