Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Scrubbing and Weeping

Obviously SSG knows her own body the best so when she said she felt like she was getting her period, she was correct. The poor thing had to follow up her craptastic day with the realization that we'll be trying again this month. (..and of course it very well may fall on Christmas! What the fuck?!) I wanted to do something nice for her yesterday and perhaps get her a little good luck charm (because hell, who doesn't need luck on their side?) so I went to Tiffany's and got her this silver necklace with a horseshoe pendant. Ahh, retail therapy. She was surprised and liked it though I knew she couldn't really express it as she was pretty sad last night. I told her to be as sad or pissed or whatever she needs to be.

So the question is, how is Shazam doing? I realized I have yet to say how I'M feeling. I guess I'm a little bit of everything as I was last month: pissed off, frustrated, worried, sad. I'm not always good about being verbal about how I'm feeling and I guess I feel like I need to be strong for SSG. Some emotion finally came out at the oddest time...while I was taking a shower this morning. I was scrubbing and washing when all of a sudden I just started crying. I believe I even let out a frustrated yell. It didn't last long but I guess I feel a little better. So onward we go. We'll take a little time to gather ourselves and build back up some positive energy and attitudes. I heard the third time is a charm... 

5 comments:

Meegs said...

I'm so sorry guys... :-(
Hopefully third time will be the charm for both of us.

queerstork said...

Oh, I have had those moments of sheer screaming desperation too. They tend to crop up at odd times... like when you're doing some scrubbing!

There will be better days ahead. Here's to hoping the third time works.

Jen said...

hi guys-
i have faith that your sweet little babe's soul is out there in the universe just waiting for the right time to be placed into your lives. once you meet him or her, you will know why the first tries "failed". as painful as it feels right now, hang in there. you have my love and good energy!

wishinghopingpraying said...

I'm really sorry. Big hugs and lots of luck headed your way.

Snickollet said...

The emotions often come out in the shower for me, too. Something about the washing away...

The necklace was such a sweet thing to do. You are the best gift-giver.

Lucky number 3, lucky number 3.

-snick