So You Think You Can Dance!!!

Shazam, our friend Snick, and I went to So You Think You Can Dance last night at the Agganis Arena at BU. It was awesome. So worth the money. We had fun, we ate crappy vendor food, and we laughed.  I want to go back for more! Here is a video of a dance that is pretty much exactly where we sat. If you don't watch the show I would definitely recommend it for next season. The dancers are so great!

Where is eggy now???

So I was wondering where eggy might be in this process so my geeky self did some human embryology review. So here is a nice diagram of eggy's last few days. Eggy is now in day 5 just to remind you.

How are Sam and Eggy feeling?

Well I can not speak for Eggy as Eggy has been very quiet. I hope that is a good sign. As for me, Saturday after the IUI I totally had ovulation pains which would make lead me to believe that Eggy had a very good chance of meeting up with the spermies. On Sunday night my mac and cheese tasted strange. Shazam reported it was fine but I thought it tasted like soap. I have had some low back pain. Yesterday while reading trip advisor reviews of the inn we will be staying at over Thanksgiving I became quite weepy. I had a class in my room doing some work so I looked like a complete nut but oh well. My friends at work think I am crazy and that I can't be having symptoms yet (which I know is true) but I can't help but hope! I have never wanted to be nauseous so much in my life.

On the testing front we decided to test on Monday. I have a 30 day cycle and we did the iui on day 20 (which is normal for me, I seem to have a short lutal phase). So Monday would bring us 2 days before my period is due and 9dpiui. It seems really early but it seems like it should be ok for the first test. If it is a negative I will wait for my period and if it is late will test again. Sounds like a plan. Let's see if I can stick to it....

We Heart Eggy

Just some ramblings about the last couple of days:

We've starting calling the potential fertilized egg in SSG's nether-regions Eggy.  Why we feel the incessant need to name everything in our lives, I don't know.  I talk to Eggy and give it encouragement because somehow in my twisted mind I think that will help.  

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After a super stressful Friday night and being in the car all day on Saturday (post IUI), I experienced exhaustion like I never have before.  I mean as a former HS/college athlete I know physical exhaustion but this was complete mental/physical exhaustion to the core.  I think we both passed out when our heads hit the pillows.  Eggy too.  

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I am SOOOO glad that I was able to go for the IUI on Saturday.   We really owe a huge thank you to the midwife who was so flexible.  She was really great, which a great sense of humor which helped to keep us relaxed.  I have to so also that the experience was way more emotional than I anticipated.  I thought it was going to be all clinical but it wasn't.  It was really amazing.  I felt very connected with my wife.  It was just really special and something I obviously won't forget.  

So now we wait....I'm surprisingly very relaxed.   

  

Sperm on board!

So after a crummy night waiting for the midwife to call us back we finally went to bed at about 11 with the idea that I would call them at 6 am to have the midwife paged again. I actually slept really well last night. Woke up to the alarm at 6 and called the service. The midwife called me back in 20 min and was confused because while we were stressing last night the midwifes spoke to each other and made a plan. Too bad they forgot to tell us! Anyway, after speaking to one midwife I waited for a 2nd to call me back. She wanted to do the iui at 9 but I talked her into doing it at 8 so that Shazam could be there.
So at 8 we arrived at the office and after some paper work I was on the table ready to put my feet in the stirrups. The worst part of the iui was the speculum. Not painful just uncomfortable. It took a bit to get the catheter through into the uterus because I have an oddly tilted cervix. I knew this before because several doctors have told me "I can't find your cervix" during my annual exams. So after some snaking around the midwife said she would try for 5 more minutes then just do an ici. Not what I wanted to hear but my cervix was open so I thought it would be ok. The second she said this however I felt it slip in and we were all set. After the sperm were inserted the midwife left Shazam and I to relax for 30 min. I listened to the Swim! Swim! play list that Shazam made me on my ipod.
So I currently have sperm swimming in my fallopian tubes hopefully meeting up with an egg. How am I going to make it through the next 14 days?

Ring Dammit!!

So it's now 10:30pm and no call back from the midwife on-call. We've called twice since around 6:30pm. We're sitting here, tired from a busy week, just waiting and most worrisome is we have no appointment at this point. I'm frustrated and worried that we're going to have to wait a month because no one is calling us back!! Not impressed by this midwives office at this moment. GRRRR!!

An update/lack of update

As you can see I got a smiley face this morning so I am due to ovulate 24-36 hrs from the time of test. This means I should do an iui sometime tomorrow. As Shazam has already posted this conflicts with her cousin's shower. When I called the midwife group this morning they told be to call the on call midwife tonight so that we can set up an iui for Sat. We are hoping that she can do an iui first thing in the am so that we can be on our way to nh by about 9:15. I am hopeful that it will work out since we are not working with office hours but with an on call midwife. I know we need to work around her schedule but midwives are so much more practical than physicians that I think she will work with us to the best of her ability. I'll let you know if this positive thinking works for us.

If Shazam can't go with me then my best friend (and who I consider my sister) will be joining me. Thank goodness I don't have to do it alone. We have been friends since we were 3/4 and spent most of our childhood together. Our father's were best friends, we went to church together, camp together, gymnastics together. Heck we wore each other's underwear if we forgot to bring it for a sleep over. She was the first person I told that I was gay. So if I can't have Shazam with me she is def. my second choice.

So what I do know is that we will be doing an iui tomorrow. I don't know when and I don't know if Shazam will be with me. This is stressing me out but we will deal. It is not ideal but not the end of the world. When I know the real plan I will post more. So close to starting! I am so excited!

Ta-da!

Are we there yet?

For those looking for an update...we're getting close...we think.  By SSG's estimate she's thinking potentially tomorrow or Friday for a positive on the ovulation front.   I'm hoping for tomorrow for a Friday IUI.   As I mentioned a little while back we're supposed to go to my cousin's baby shower on Saturday in NH and if an IUI is scheduled for Saturday well then, I'm feeling guilty either way.  It's a no win situation.  I don't want SSG to go to the appointment alone and I don't want to miss anything (major guilt and would feel like a shitty wife).  If I go to the shower alone I need to lie all day as to why Sam isn't there (more guilt).  If we both skip the shower I know people will be disappointed and then I have to do more lying about why we BOTH aren't going. (wow, a big pile of guilt)  I'm sure it will all work out and as my friend Snick mentioned, we may be able to do an early morning IUI on Saturday.  Guess we'll deal with it if it happens that way.     

the wait goes on!

Well it is day 18 and no signs of ovulation so far. I am obsessing about the whole thing and taking both the digital and analog tests. I was taking both in the am but now have switched it up to taking the analog in the afternoon. I actually took an analog last night and both types this morning. All were negative so it is looking like my ovaries are not cooperating with the whole nh trip. Argh. Let's hope that if we get a positive tomorrow morning they can do an early morning iui on sat so we can go to the shower after. We continue to wait. All in all we both are feeling stressed about the whole process. I just want to get it started once we take the first step I will feel much better. Portia and Ellen better get their act together soon!

Paranoid much?

So this morning, even though it's only like day 10, SSG started using the OPK.  I sprung out of bed to take a look and it's not even close.  You couldn't even see the other line.  It's early so it's all good and we won't know it's early.  I think we're both so paranoid of missing it and losing another month that we wanted to start early.   Send your positive ovulation vibes!!

Portia and Ellen are now very relaxed

I have just returned from the spa after being buffed and wrapped and rubbed. I would say it was a success. I now sparkle with gold flakes. I spent my hour thinking fertile thoughts and telling my reproductive system to relax and to do its thing. I am now going to make lemon tarragon chicken for my thoughtful and beautiful wife. I am hydrating and feeling great. Hope everyone else had a great day too.

Happy Birthday Mimi!

Today was my mother in law's 60th birthday and we went up to NH to celebrate with family. It was a really nice afternoon, the food was great, and the weather was gorgeous. Here are some highlights.

The birthday girl.

Shazam and Matty play some ball.

Matty and Ben make a leaf pile...

..which Ben then jumped in.

Shazam and Matt.

Matty in action.

Matty and Bubba run a route

Allison poses for the camera.

Yum cake!


Allison puts on some candles.

Allison runs with balloons.

The whole family.

my wife rocks!

Yesterday I had the day off while the wife worked. She is used to it but it still sucks that she works so much more than me (not fair at all). I spent the day having lunch with my Mum and walking around the mall. I had planned to make a romantic dinner for us but I got stuck in a massive traffic jam on the way home so I made hamburgers and really bad french fries (sorry babe!). While we were eating dinner my wife asked what I would be doing on my next day off (Monday). I was planning on just hanging out at home but she suggested I do this:

Golden Artemisia Body Ritual
This exquisite body treatment is the ultimate indulgence for the senses; each phase immersing you in the delicate combination of golden mineral dust and extracts of the Artemisia flower-so named after the Greek Goddess who gathered the healing herb. Your sensorial journey begins with a gentle exfoliation and hot towel application. Next, a buttery, warm cocoon moisturizes and remineralizes every inch of your skin while your scalp and feet are massaged. When you emerge, gold-flecked body oil is massaged into your skin, which is then lightly dusted with luminous golden powder to reveal outer radiance, reflecting your inner beauty.

My dear wife made an appointment at the spa for me so that I could be as relaxed as possible going into the next few weeks leading up to insemination. I mean geeze could this woman be any better????? For god sake I will be in a buttery cocoon!!!!!! They will be rubbing my feet! I will be dusted with golden powder!

I love my wife because she takes such good care of me! Thanks shazam....I owe you a good dinner.

ps thanks snick for helping pick it out

Wedding Pictures

So I have nothing new to post so I thought I would bore you all with some pretty pictures of the the wife and I from our wedding. We loved our photographer and I spent many hours worrying about the fact that I am not photogenic and what they would look like. I was very happy with the results. Enjoy!

This is not a drill people!

When I first got my period at about age 16(I know it is late but I was a gymnast so I think I stunted my development) my mother sat me down to explain how getting my period was a "beautiful" thing since it meant I was able to have a baby and how wonderful the whole process is. I felt at the time that it was just gross. Over the past 2o years I have grown to tolerate getting my period and haven't thought much about the "beautiful process" my mother spoke about way back when. In reality I spent my early to mid 20s actively avoiding the process with a vengeance.( for those who don't know me in real life I was a bit of a late bloomer on the lesbian thing and didn't figure it all out until I was about 30)

So for the past 20 years my body has been going through what I will call fire drill fertility. Every month I would bleed and ovulate and all the other good stuff but the whole system has yet to be tested for real until this month. So my period started right on time last night and for the first time I really think of it as a beautiful thing! I have never been so excited to use a tampon in my life. So after the bleeding stops my body will be preparing my womb for a potential pregnancy. My ovaries will be stimulated to mature and release an egg. My fallopian tubes will pushing an egg or possibly a blastula towards my uterus. My uterus will be thickening so it is ready for implantation.

For the first time this month I could be making a baby! I hope every one remembers what they have been practicing in the drills.

You named them what??

To know me well is to know that I have a very odd sense of humor.  It's silly, it can be waaay out there, and honestly it's not very sophisticated.  I'm 100% okay with that.  I think any reason to laugh is good.  We don't do enough laughing in my opinion.  I'm fine sitting on the couch laughing to the point of tears while my wife looks at me in a confused way, wondering why I think something is so damn funny.  

I also tend to find a lot of humor in this process my wife and I will be going through of trying to have a baby.   It's not that I don't take it seriously because I do but there are times it's just comical.  Take last night for example.  We were in bed and SSG was reading a lesbian pregnancy book as I was reading over her shoulder.  At one point there was this section about how she should have a "relationship" with her cervix.  I'm sorry?  So is she supposed to chat with her cervix on a daily basis?  Now that is comedy.  At one point she also flipped to a page that had an awful sketch of a fat woman who was naked, with a speculum inserted, and a mirror in her hand.  Apparently she was checking out her inner girly parts.  I laughed out loud because first of all do women have like speculum's hanging around their home and why on earth does one need to see that? As my good friend said, "Your cervix is hidden for a reason".  Well said Snick.  

So in my goofiness, I have started to talk to SSG's ovaries and give them pep talks.  Sometimes I give a shout out to her uterus too.  I've even gone so far to name her ovaries.  Ellen and Portia. They'd be so flattered.  Why do you ask?  Because it's just funny.  It's goofy. It's odd.  It's silly.  I'm all for silliness and I like to think it keeps things loose and SSG relaxed.

 

Yesterday

Yesterday was one of those endless days. It is my own fault, but still it was long. I had a field trip and had my usual nanny gig until 6 last night. No biggy since I get paid on Thursdays so it is always fun to walk out with a wad of cash in my pocket. Well about a month ago I told the woman I nannied for this summer that I could watch her kids last night. So I left job # 1 to go to job #2 and after went to job #3. By the end of the night I was toast and thank goodness my wife was there to make me some mac and cheese (boy am I classy). I also got to snuggle with a baby, so I enjoyed that.

Today we are watching a video. I know, great teacher huh? In my defense it is a video that is totally content related and the kids will be doing a project on their notes so I am not a complete slacker.

So since the kids are watching a video I can recap yesterday's field trip. Apart from being a long day yesterday it also had a few adventures. My team went to the Minute Man National Park to learn about the revolution. I have been several times and it is pretty cool. There is a nice video about the events that lead to that "shot heard round the world" and it was a beautiful fall day so the small hikes were really nice and pretty. We had two buses so one group started at the North bridge and the other (mine) started at the visitor's center. The adults on my bus included the social studies teacher, the ELL teacher, two special ed teachers, and myself. The other included the math teacher, the English teacher, three special ed aides, and the gym teacher. I was surprised to find that that I was on the bus with the social studies teacher. As the two most experienced teachers on the team it would make sense to break us up. Since I knew there were some directions  to get to all the stops of this trip I was worried about the other bus getting where it needed to go. Since my friend Jen was the bus leader and she can't find her way out of a pickle jar I had a right to worry, and yes they got lost for a while but found their way somehow to the correct place eventually. On the other hand I thought we were home free. Boy was I wrong.

We made it to the first stop no problem watched the video, took a short hike, and ate our lunch at the Paul Revere capture site then boarded the bus to go to our second stop. All was going well until our bus drove past the parking lot for the North Bridge, so we continued on looking for a place to turn around. If you are not from the area the national park is located in Concord, MA and the road we were on was a typical, long, narrow road with lots of blind turns. Not a place to try to turn around a bus. So we drove for a couple of miles and the bus driver passed several places to turn around(like a bloody school!) but no, he spies a private drive and a field. So down the private drive we went and on to the field. It had rained buckets the day before and the field had standing water...thus a quagmire that we quickly got stuck in. So after trying to get ourselves unstuck by spinning the tires and digging ourselves deeper in the muck we got all the kids off the bus. After a few more attempts with the empty bus we started to get creative. Good thing there was a marine (the social studies teacher) and a lesbian to take control of the situation (the bus driver was no help). So the marine started gathering large branches to try to get the wheels to catch on. No luck with that.  I knew what we really needed were a couple of 2x10s and a tractor. Luckily we were in farm country so off to the farm across the street to procure some supplies the lesbian went. I returned with the farmer, a tractor, and a chain. In a matter of ten minutes the farmer had our bus unstuck and after a quick stop at the house which owned the field, we were on our way again. We got back to our missed stop and had an abbreviated tour of the site with a very nice man dressed as a minute man costume carrying a real musket.

On the way back to the bus a student turned to me and said "This was the best field trip ever!" "Why?" I asked. She replied "We got to see a tractor, there were really cool toilets at the visitor center, and the guy shot a gun!"

So what did the kids learn on this trip? Well, I think they learned a little bit about the Revolution but a whole lot about how to be a good human being. When I got to the farm I was greeted by two women who asked immediately "Do you have a bus stuck in the field?, How can we help/" No rolls of the eyes about the city slickers not knowing to stay off a wet field with a bus or telling me they were busy. Just a plain offer of help. They called the farmer on the walkie talkie and he immediately stopped what he was doing and drove his tractor up to help us. He grabbed a chain and fixed the problem. No questions asked and no anger at ruining his field. He just helped.

I have been thinking about this since it happened and talked to my kids about it today (before we watched the movie). How many times have I been asked to help and it wasn't convenient so I bowed out? How much better would the world be if we all just dropped what we are doing and helped people when they needed help? So we talked about good karma and paying it forward in my class today.

If they heard my message maybe I am not such a crappy teacher after all.

ANY day but the 24th!!

Just a side note from the other half...everyone needs to send us good vibes that a positive ovulation does not happen on Friday the 24th!!  We have a baby shower for my cousin in the middle of nowhere New Hamphire at 1:00 on the 25th so I don't see how we would be able to do an insemination.  Pleeeeease no positive test on the 24th!   

The Waiting Game

So now that the September cycle is over (really before it started) I am starting to think ahead for next month. So for all those folks playing along at home....I should start my period on October 6th which means that I should start using the opk on October 18th. I should be ovulating between day 16-19 so that would place a positive op test between October 21-24th. Then the two week wait will begin. If all goes well and the swimmers swim, find the egg and then the egg travels down the fallopian tube and implants (a lot to do but I have faith in the little bugger) then I should know if I am pregnant by the beginning of November. So now that I have laid this plan out so nicely I am sure it will all go to shit. At least it gives me a plan and something to keep me busy in the hurry up and wait life Shazam and I have just entered.

So now I am really putting the cart before the horse. How long does one wait to tell people IRL (in real life)? I am sure that if we succeed we will be posting away on here but when to tell the family and how? All thoughts are welcome. How long did you wait/will you wait?

Oh and a note: Many people use cute little abbreviations on message boards and blogs as I have done above. While I will be using some like opk (ovulation predictor kits) since it is just so long to type, I will refrain from some of the "cutesy" ones popular on many of the fertility sites. For example, my period has never and will never be referred to as "af" or "aunt flo". I mean really people. Are we all still in 7th grade and can't use the really words for things? Additionally if I test to determine if I am pregnant I will not be telling you that I "POAS" or "peed on a stick". I will be taking a pt or pregnancy test. I think this blog is already covering enough of my bodily functions. Do you really need me to tell you how I will conduct the previously mentioned test? Ok, Ok, I have used "spermcicles" in the past but hell I needed to make it seem more exciting than male haploid cells that have been separated from seminal fluid and cryo preserved for use in intrauterine insemination.