You know when you know the answer to something but you don't like it so you ask a second opinion? This is what I have been doing in regards to 2nd parent adoption.
In our hearts and minds this baby is both mine and Shazam's. We created it together and the only difference is that I share DNA and Shazam does not. I truly feel that genetics does not make a parent so Shazam is as much baby g's parent as I am. That said the law seems to feel differently.
I was hoping that since Shazam and I are legally married and will be able to put both my name and Shazam's name on the birth certificate at the hospital that we would be able to avoid the whole 2nd parent adoption.
I read some stuff online but thought I should actually ask someone who knows the law. I called my friend Amy whose mother is a law professor. She called the woman who wrote the actual law, and now I have the answer. Of course it was not what I wanted. We do of course need to do the 2nd parent adoption. It makes me mad. If I am legally married why do we have to jump through all these hoops while the hetero couples just get to walk out of the hospital with their birth certificates. Not only is it make me feel like second class citizens but the money is making me feel sick.
Of course we will do it. Shazam's parents live in NH and we will be there all the time. My extended family lives in VT and we are there multiple times a year. Staying in the state of Massachusetts is just not an option for the rest of this child's life. So today I am looking for a lawyer. Instead of looking obsessively at strollers and car seats I must spend my free time figuring how much it is going to cost us to make our child our child.
From what I can gather it should be pretty straight forward. We should be able to get the home study and waiting period. From what I can see we will need a cori (criminal background check), the marriage certificate, the birth certificate, and some affidavits. I guess I will find out what else we need when we meet with a lawyer. Argh!
Anyone do this already and can tell me their experience? Would love to hear how it works.