Whoops!

So Shazam and I fell off the old blog wagon. I think we both got a bit overwhelmed with the holiday and trying to blog every day for the whole month. So while we didn't post everyday this month I do think it helped motivate both Shazam and I to post more so I am happy we tried.

This year we have so much to be thankful for. We both have wonderful families who support and love us. We have little E who is the love of our lives and so much fun. We celebrated with Shazam's family and our meal was wonderful and the company even better. Little E was a bit of a cranky pants though. She did sleep for just enough time for us to eat our turkey without holding a baby though. In keeping with Thanksgiving tradition though Little E ate way to much. I am not sure what was going on but she ate the whole day and slept very little.

Shazam and I decided that we would stay over night so we had our first sleep over with the baby. I must say that Ella slept pretty well and only got up a couple of times to eat but went down well. Since we didn't have to steal away in the middle of the night I am calling it a success. Little E did sleep all day yesterday to catch up and has slowed down on her eating a bit. I think she was just trying to be like her Mommies and stuff herself on the holiday.

Little E certainly is eating a lot more lately and I am a little nervous about my supply. I used to have an oversupply not only due to the fact that Little E was eating such small amounts but also because I was producing tons of milk. Our primary nurse called me bessie. Lately my milk supply has been a bit lack luster. I have a large stash in the freezer but I have not been able to replace what the milk that I have been defrosting each day. Some days I have been able to freeze the milk I have used but other days I can't freeze anything. So I started taking fenugreek today to see if my milk supply goes up. I had hoped that I would be able to transition Little E to breast feeding more once we got home but it just hasn't worked out that way. Since we had to give her bottles of enriched milk for the first month and a half when we got home we never got into a good groove with the breast feeding. I do still nurse her two times a day but I usually need to give her a bottle afterwards. Now that Little E is sleeping for long stretches at night I also am not pumping as much as I had in the past. I think all of this is contributing to my supply dropping. I hope the fenugreek does the trick and gets me going again. I may have to do a power pumping day or two to really get my supply back up. I was hoping to feed Little E breast milk for a year and will keep working at pumping as long as I can. I am a little disappointed about perhaps having to turn to formula but I know it isn't the worst thing that could happen. Shazam reminded me today that while we had planned to feed Little E breast milk for a year often things don't go as planned.

Little E is taking a nap right now so I am going to take advantage of this and take a bath. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday.

In The Majority

Today is Little E's 69th day at home. This is an important number since she now has lived the majority of he life at home with us. She spent the first 68 days of her life in the NICU and until this point she had lived away from us more than she had lived with us. We have more memories of her home than in the hospital. It seems like forever ago we were in the hospital. It makes me realize how long we were really there. Ella of course is unfazed by this and is sleeping in her chair infront of me. We really have come a long way.

Speaking of coming a long way. Guess who slept through the night last night? Yup that would be Little E. She had her last bottle at 9:30 (5 oz and also nursed a little before that) and was down by 10:30. I woke up to daylight at 7 am and Little E was still asleep! So I got up and pumped and Little E snoozed until about 7:30. She was a happy little person in the pack and play when I came back and chilled out in bed with us and then took a bottle. It was so great! Unfortunately Shazam did not sleep through the night and is feeling tired today. Sorry Shazam but I feel great! Ella seems to be in a pretty good mood too. In fact she took a nap after that first bottle of the day and we had to wake her up for early intervention.

I hope this trend continues but I don't think we will be that lucky.

I Think I Can, I Think I Can

I have officially entered week 2 of working with a personal trainer. I go three days a week and I have to say I feel 10x better, not that I'm surprised. I know I always feel better when I'm moving my body. I have more energy, I feel better about myself, and I'm just in a better mood. I must say I am happy that I'm in less pain this week. Last week my body was killing me. I couldn't even get on and off the toilet without a little yelp of pain. My body and muscles are still fatigued and getting used to the change but it's getting better. The other thing I'm happy about is I lost 2.2 pounds in one week so I'm just hoping to keep building on that. I have a long way to go but not too shabby for week one.

Today we didn't really do all that much. I worked out and SSG went grocery shopping. We did have a fun day with Little E today at home though because she was in such a happy, smiley mood for most of the day. I keep waiting for a little laugh to come out with her big smiles! I can't wait to hear what it sounds like. So at this point we're really looking forward to a nice, small Thanksgiving at my parents house in NH.

Well Little E is down so off to bed! I've learned to take advantage of when she actually goes down at a reasonal time.

Rough Night

Little Miss Ella is having a rough night. She seemed to be refluxing like crazy at about 8pm and has been miserable ever since. She was just screaming in pain and it was terrible. She hasn't done this in a while and I am wondering if she is again out growing her dosage on her medicine. It took her whole lullaby cd to get her calm and finally asleep in my arms. When I tried to put her down she would sleep for about 10 minutes and then wake up crying again. My poor little lady bug! When I finally got her back asleep in my arms we decided to let her sleep in her bouncy so she wasn't laying flat. She has been sleeping although I did hear her cry out a few minutes ago. She seems to have settled again, hopefully for good. It is just so sad to see her so upset, she gets tears in her eyes now and looks at you with such a pitiful face. Hopefully this is not a very long night with no sleep! I am going to run and join Shazam and Ella in bed.

Gathering Info

I have talked a few times about the loss of my job but I thought I would back it up a bit in order to talk about what my future career may look like. So I was a psychology major, not really knowing what exactly I was going to do with it. In fact I've never know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I went through my 4 years at a small college in Vermont and then instantly started working in a group home for kids near where I grew up in New Hampshire. I worked with boys and girls ages from about 8 to 12 with horrendous stories of abuse/neglect. Basically they were placed in the group home because their home situations were, well, horrible. It was a hard job but incredibly rewarding. I felt good about it. Hell, I felt great about it. I worked there a year and a half and then I left that job and the state to ironically, live with a guy. (that is a WHOLE other post). I somehow ended up in textbook publishing and stayed there for like 10 years. I can't say I ever loved it, nor did I find it all that rewarding. I was just a person of many helping the big publishers make more money. I was part of the machine. However I ended up being quite good at being a project manager so I just stayed. I got complacent and I never paused to say, "Is this what I want to be doing?"

This brings me to now. As I've said before I lost my job in May and I have had some 5 months to try to do a little soul searching as to what my next step will be. It's been hard. It's been frustrating. It's scary. I mean I'm 34 years old and in my mind it seems ridiculous to be saying, "What do I want to be?" It's almost embarrassing. In fact it is. I pride myself on being a hard worker, a trait I most certainly inherited from my parents. The problem has always been that I don't feel like I've had a direction for my hard work and passion. So as SSG and I have been talking about jobs, daycare, what our plan is, what my career plan is, what is best for the family the idea of me going back to school came up. We've talked about it a lot because let's face it, it's a lot to process. There are sacrifices that will need to be made and obviously sudden debt that is tuition. Not to mention I haven't been a student in like 12 years. I explored a few things that just didn't work out and then it seemed pretty obvious...getting my Masters in Social Work. There is a lot I could do with and MSW and as a psychology major and with my background it seemed like a natural fit. It's overwhelming at times to think how being in school for part-time for 3 years would impact the three of us. Could we swing it financially? Could we arrange my classes so that I we would only need daycare for a couple days? When will my unemployment run out? Just so many questions SSG and I need to explore.

Bottom line is I need to take a more active roll in my career and be more assertive. I want to be passionate at what I do and make a difference. I want to have a more stable career for my family. I need to. Even though Little E is young I want to set a good example for her and be able when she's old enough to explain the important of an education. I want her to be passionate and I want her to value hard work. I don't want her to be complacent. I also want to show her it's not too late to find something that you love to do and sometimes you need to take a few steps back to take big steps forward.

So tomorrow is the first step for me. I'm headed to an MSW information session tomorrow at Simmons in Boston and then an info session at Boston University in a couple weeks....and you know, I'm actually excited.

This Blogging Everyday Thing Is Hard!

So I think we have done pretty well on posting everyday (I think I missed a day and Shazam missed a day) but darn it all it is hard to think of something in the least bit interesting when my day consists of pretty much the exact replica of the day before. Baby cries, baby eats, baby poops, baby smiles. I mean it doesn't get old around here but who the hell wants to read about that?

Yesterday I did make it out of the house! I went with Shazam on her first day of the nanny job to show her the ropes. It was nice to see the family again. Today Shazam went by herself and I think she did great. It is strange for her to be doing the job and not me but I am more than happy to stay home with the baby so she can make some cash.

I tried on Ella's Thanksgiving outfit tonight and she looked so cute. It is a cute brown corduroy jumper with bunnies with a matching undershirt with bunnies on the collar. I wish she had some shoes to go with it but her feet are so small. But she has the cutest tights to match so I am sure she will look cute! Oh how I love dressing my little girl up! It is so much fun!

Tagging a Tree

We seem to be starting a little bit of a tradition with SSG's parents and that is going out with them to tag a Christmas tree for their house. So on Sunday the three of us drove about 45 minutes to my in-laws and then off we went. I can't even begin to explain how happy we were to be getting outside and having a change of routine. It was a pretty "warm" day out and we packed the baby carrier to carry the girl. We walked through the rows and rows of trees until they found their tree and Little E happily slept the whole time. It's funny how so much can change in a year. Last year we were married and not pregnant and well this year we have our little family. Great day for sure and I know SSG's parents really enjoyed their time with their granddaughter. Here's some shots from the day!

I Now Have a Cause

Ever since the premature birth of our daughter Ella Grace I have joined the ranks of a club that no one ever wants to join. Both Shazam and I are card carrying members of the preemie mom club. We now have a cause and have charity walks to do because it is only hard work, money and lots of research that we will prevent another baby from the hard path our sweet baby Ella has had to walk and will continue to travel.

Today is the March of Dimes Prematurity awareness day and they have asked families that have been affected by Preterm birth to tell their story in the hope that my cause will become your cause even just for a minute.

Little Ella came into this world after a few frantic day after a rather uneventful pregnancy. Other than pretty serious morning sickness and fatigue my pregnancy was the picture of normal. My ob visits were quick and I didn't have any thought to the possibility of our baby was coming early. This all changed quickly on the evening of July 8th. School was out for the year but I was still doing my part time nanny job in the afternoon. As usual I picked the girls up from camp, played some games, and cooked dinner. I was feeling tired and my feet were swollen but it was July and I was 7 months pregnant. It would have been odd if I hadn't been feeling this way. I went home and made dinner for Shazam and I and was feeling fine at about 7 pm. As the evening progressed I started feeling sick to my stomach and it progressed over the next few hours to me vomiting. I knew something was wrong so I asked Shazam to take me to the hospital. It went downhill fast as soon as I arrived at the hospital. My blood pressure was off the charts and the first thing the doctor told us was that we would be having our baby in the next 3 days. I had developed pre-eclampsia and hellp syndrome. The hope was that I could last for 3 days so that the baby's lungs could be helped by 2 doses of steroids. I lasted about 30 hours until I was too sick to stay pregnant any more as my liver and kidneys began to shut down. It was a frightening time but really didn't comprehend how sick I was and how scary the road we were about to walk down was going to be.

Ella entered the world by emergency c-section at 1:50 pm on July 10, 2009. She weighed in at 2 pounds 5 ounces and was 14 inches long. She was tiny. She should have been about a pound heavier and an inch and a half longer but the pre-eclampsia had causes her placenta not to work as well as it should have and Ella's growth suffered. She scored a 2 and a 7 on her apgar scores but she was screaming her head off in the delivery room. After a quick kiss in the delivery room it would be hours before we would see Ella again in the NICU and 69 long days before we were able to bring our little bundle of joy home.

The NICU experience is surreal and scary. It is one of the saddest places you can ever be but oddly it is filled with joy. Ella was poked with needles, had tubes down her mouth and nose, she was treated for a heart problem, received a blood transfusion, was tube fed, and suffered from episodes where her heart and respiratory rates dropped dangerously low. She was sick and it was hard but Ella had a pretty easy road of it. She was never the smallest or the sickest in the nursery but it was still hell to watch our baby suffer quite frankly it was hard to watch all the babies suffer. The fact that Ella made it out of the NICU without any major setbacks or surgeries is amazing and really we were lucky. Lucky that my daughter was born in a time after some of the most important advances in neonatology have been made. Our journey would have been much different if it were not for the development of surfactant to help her lungs, knowledge about fighting NEC a devastating and often fatal digestive infection, and the development of medicine that closed the hole in her heart without surgery. All of these advancements that literally saved Ella's life came from research funded by the March of Dimes.

We made it through and out of the NICU but here is the thing Ella is still a preemie and we are preemie moms. I think that is one of the hardest part of this journey. So many people think that because she is getting so big (10lb 7.5 oz last week!) that she is no longer a preemie. The truth is she will always be a preemie and until age 2 or more she will be dealing with the adverse effects of being premature. It makes me so sad that instead of just being able to enjoy the ride that is parenthood we are constantly jumping over road blocks and looking ahead anxiously for what is to come.

My hope is that fewer parents will have to join be on this journey and that the ones who do have an easier and shorter road because I helped clear the road for them. While in the NICU Ella participated in several research studies which hopefully will help future preemies. It wasn't much but it was the most we could do. Now that we are home I hope that we can help raise money to fund these research projects and fight for these special little babies and their families.

I have never laughed, cried or loved as hard as I have in the last four months in my entire life. I treasure every minute I have with my family. My Ella is a fighter. If you are able to I would love it if you could fight for her too!

To donate in her name click here!

Once Upon A Time...

...I (Shazam) was in-shape and skinny. I then hit 30, my metabolism came to a screeching halt, and I got lazy. Majorly lazy. I went from running 3-5 miles like 5 days a week and lifting weights a couple days a week, to nothing. I ran a marathon in 2004 and then it was all down hill. I've made excuses not to exercise and eat right and I continue to just feel horrible. I hate how I look and how I feel. I don't buy new clothes for myself (and haven't in years) because I hate trying them on. Well enough is enough. I can't keep doing this. I have a wife and daughter that depend on me. So on Sunday this personal training place right up the street, like a 5 minute walk, was having an open house. I went in, talked to a trainer, and signed up. One year commitment. Paying it all at once. I get 12 sessions per month and I can schedule them when I want. It was kind of pricey but it needed to be done. I'm not working full-time and won't be from now until next summer so there is no reason I can't go 3 times a week. I'm hoping this makes me feel better, more energenic, and gives me a little boost overall. Losing my job has been really hard on my self-confidence and I need something for me. So tomorrow I have an assessment-type appointment at 10:00am and I'm nervous. Then I will make appointments to have my butt kicked. Hard. I'm sure I won't be able to walk the first couple of weeks. Ouch. Wish me luck!

Better

We are all feeling better over here. Thank goodness. I am feeling really great and I think Shazam is feeling much better as well. Ella is certainly feeling better and only has a bit of a stuffy nose. She is pretty much back to her regular self although she still isn't as smiley as she usually is. Every day she seems perkier and the cold seems to be leaving our house. We have weathered her first cold and fever and I only called the doctor once!!! I must say I am pretty proud of myself. Thank goodness Shazam is here to keep me calm. I tend to panic and think the worst. Shazam always reels me back in to reality.

We are going to tag a Christmas tree tomorrow with my parents if the weather is nice. If it is crappy weather we will have a nice visit with Grammy and Grampy and then go home to watch the Patriots play. Other than that it is pretty much the status quo here. Boring but at this point boring is good!

I'll Take What I Can Get

An interesting development popped up last night that I just had to jump on. SSG for a couple of years worked two afternoons a week (just 3 hours a day) as a part-time nanny for a family with two girls. The girls are older (11 and 14 I believe), good kids, and the parents are really nice people. They were very good to SSG and I even did some interior painting for them that they paid me for. They had to replace SSG for this school year because we were going to have a baby and all involved were sad about it. SSG had grown quite attached to the kids and vice versa. Well last night we got an e-mail that the new person just wasn't working out and wanted to know if I would be interested. After talking it over with SSG and thinking about it I just couldn't turn it down. It's just 3-6 on Wednesdays and Thursday and it's not difficult work. SSG and I got really accustomed to that extra cash every week and we've really missed it. Plus with me not working and the holidays coming up I could use the extra cash. Looks like I'll be starting next week!

Back to School

I may actually be officially crazy. I am taking an online grad school class. I have finally reached the top of the pay scale at work and if I want to make the big bucks I need to get my masters +30 status. I currently have 9 credits. I should have done this a long time ago but I just didn't get my act together. Truth be told I have done plenty of professional development just not the programs where you could get credits. Stupid me! Anyway I have never taken an online class before and wow do I have some over achievers in my class. You have to do some readings, watch some videos, write a paper each week and post on the discussion boards. The content work is totally doable and the paper was easy but this discussion board crap is crazy. Lets just say that I have some over achievers in my group. The rubric says that you need to post 3 times and respond to people 4 times. I posted about 14 times total last week and I was so the slacker. I couldn't keep up. I checked in a couple times a day even and there would be 30 unread posts every time. So crazy. I mean I home and not teaching all day. These people have jobs for gods sake. Teaching. How the hell are they doing this. So yeah I am crazy. My wife is in bed, my baby is in bed, and I have to go make some stupid response about the rock cycle so that I can get my +30 and buy my baby some new diapers!

Germs and Shots

Well it's official. Little E has her first little cold. :o( I started to feel kind of crappy about a week and a half ago and I've been fighting a cold ever sense. It's not a bad one, it just annoyingly kind of lingers. I feel better for a couple days and then one day I wake up stuffy with a scratchy throat. I seem to be on the upswing but on Sunday we noticed poor Little E having some post-nasal drip happening. She is somewhat stuffy, a little sneezy, and the bulb to suck the stuff out of her nose is our friend. I tried so hard not to pass it on and I feel horrible about it. The good thing is that again, it seems to be mild, she doesn't have a temp, and it's not in her lungs. We are keeping our fingers crossed it stays mild and stays put in her nose. SSG is a little under the weather with the same symptoms so we're all just trying to get better.

Little E had her 4 month appointment today and her 4 month shots. She was a trooper as usual and she cried for about 30 seconds and then that's about it. The girl has gone through much worse, let's face it. The fun part of the appointment is that she gets weighed and we like to make guesses. SSG was pretty close and our little girl weighed 10 pounds 7.5 ounces! More impressive is that last time she was on the non age adjusted growth chart for her weight and was at the 1 percentile. Her weight today put her up to the 3rd percentile! We were pretty excited and even more excited to know that she is off the additional calories (we had to add a special formula to the breast milk) because she is gaining weight so well. We also get to cut out the iron supplement that made one bottle a day kind of stinky and I don't think she liked it very much. So lots of good news today at the doctors and now we just need to get rid of her cold.

Four Months and Two Months

Ella is four months old today. She goes for her 4 month check up tomorrow. I am curious to see how much she weighs and whether she has held her own on the growth chart. At 3.5 months she was in the 1st percentile for her actual age. Tomorrow night may prove to be a bit challenging as she is getting several shots. I think it will be a infants Tyl.enol night! She reacted very poorly to her 2 month vaccines and bought herself almost a week of extra time in the NICU after them. I am hoping they don't throw her for such a loop this time.

A little less than 2 months from now I am going to return to work. I am dreading this on multiple levels. Of course I am sad that I am going to have to leave Ella at home and I am going miss spending all my time with my wife. But it is the best of possible worlds as I am leaving Ella with her mother and I know that they will have a great time and be waiting for me when I get home. The other reason I am dreading going back is that my sub has been doing a less than spectacular job. I have a feeling that the kids are going to be undisciplined and not used to working in science class. The kids had a grand total of 2 grades on the first term report card and doesn't give much homework nor does he check it. Oh what a change these kids are in for! I give homework most nights, I give a weekly quiz, and I have a writing assignment every other week. I hope my bubbly personality and fun activities wins them over and makes them forget that they have been able to slack for the first half of the year! I hear the kids are a nice group so I am sure that we will work through it!

I'm a Blogging Failure

I totally blew it and didn't blog yesterday. I had all intentions of doing so but Little E had other plans for us. She basically refused to nap ALL day yesterday. This meant we were all exhausted and I was feeling extra frazzled...hence spacing out and not blogging. I actually feel really guilty about it!

So one of our readers had some suggestions about what we could blog about this month and one of them was what do we fear the most? I certainly have long-term fears but my most recent fear that is going to be here before we know it is the fear of SSG going back to work in early January. I fear that I am going to totally suck at being a stay-at-home mom until next summer when SSG is on summer break from teaching. I'm not sure if it's the sleep deprivation talking, but I am feeling lately like I am not quite cut out for being a parent. I am by nature not an incredibly patient person and I find myself getting frustrated with Little E, I get frustrated with what feels like endless crying, and I mostly get frustrated with myself that I'm not better at this. I am notoriously very hard on myself so maybe I should give myself a break but I watch SSG and she's amazing. She's patience and calm and I won't have that come January. I won't be able to pass Little E to her when I'm feeling overwhelmed and won't have her calming energy here at the apartment. The good thing is that SSG is a teacher and that means she will be home 3:00-3:30 most days and not like 6-7pm like in an office job. It is going to take some adjustment come January for everyone . While I don't feel lucky that I lost my job in May, I feel lucky I get to stay home with Little E for a while and keep her safe from daycare germs. I am fortunate I get to have that time. I just hope I can channel a calmer more patient Shazam.

That Mother

I was never been a germaphobe before now. I was going to be the Mom who didn't stress too much about germs. I was going to let my kid play in the dirt. I was going to be the Mom who let their child build up their immune system. I was going to be the Mom who didn't over use antibiotics, antibacterial soap and pure.ll. But I am so not that Mom now.

I wipe down the shopping cart twice at the store. I have purel.l in every room of my house. I wipe down everything with chloro.x wipes. I have left my house a grand total of 3 times this week to go some where other than walking the dog. Once to get Ella her RSV shot, once to get Shazam and my H1N1 shot, and once after a slight breakdown last night to BRU to pick up some supplies.

I worry about exposing Ella to germs since even the common cold which would cause a stuffy nose in a regular infant could cause Ella to be hospitalized or worse. While Ella does not have crappy lungs like many preemies she still has preemie lungs and they just aren't the same as regular lungs. Every runny nose and sneeze around Ella I view as a threat to her life. I don't like that I feel this way but I do. I feel like we didn't go through the hell of July, August and half of September to end back in the hospital. It just isn't worth it to me.

Part of this is because it is because of me that we are in this situation in the first place. I couldn't keep her safe in my body until she was ready to come out. It is the least I can do to keep her as healthy as possible now. I made her sick and small and vulnerable so I need to protect her as best I can.

I am trying to find balance, I am trying to be reasonable, I am trying not to piss too many people off. But I am scared. If something happens to Ella I just don't think I could deal with the additional guilt. This whole situation is my fault, it was my body that failed her once and I am trying like hell not to let my sweet beautiful daughter down again.

So yeah, I am that mother who over protects her daughter. I am that mother who doesn't want to be around sick people. I am that mother who wants to call the doctor about every little thing. I am that mother who wants you to wash your hands and use pur.ell before touching Ella. I am that mother who wants you to use it again every time you touch her. So yeah, I am that mother. I am working on it but be patient because being that mother is the only way I can be right now.

Drama Queen

When Little E was merely 3 weeks old my mother gave her this preemie-sized onesie that read "Drama Queen". We put it on her and she was swimming in the thing and we made sure to take a picture. SSG and I decided we should put it on her again today at nearly 4 months old. As you will see we can't even snap the crotch! It's been fun to look back and see how our little super hero has grown.

Awake

Well I need to get my blog entry in before Thursday is over. This is going to be short because someone is cranky but will not go to sleep. Shazam is on duty right now so I will make it short and sweet.

So I may not be getting Mom of the year this year. Tonight Ella was cranky before dinner so I thought I would put little E in her swing. She doesn't generally love it but I really wanted to sit down and I really wanted to be able to sit down to dinner and not hand a baby back and forth when one of us needed to cut our chicken. Since the swing is in the living room and little E could see the tv I decided that she shouldn't watch Law and Order. Instead of turning the tv off like the mother of the year would have I actually went to the on demand part of the tv and put on a kids show for her! Yup the child is not even 4 months old and I have her watching tv and guess what she loved the show I picked for her. It was a strange 14 min little story with very little dialog about a boy, his dog and a frog. They all go out to the park and the frog escapes and it is quite cute. There is really nice classical music and Ella sat watching her show and we got to eat in peace. So yeah I am that mom who lets her kid watch tv. Judge you all you want but any port in a storm I tell you any port in a storm.
Now I need to go and rescue Shazam as little E is not settling down and I think my shift is starting.

Tag!

I've been told by SSG that it's my turn today to post. Unfortunately I'm feeling pretty crappy today, run down, and a bit uninspired. As far as feeling crappy, this morning I felt like I was coming down with a cold only throughout the day I haven't really developed a lot of cold-like symptoms. I'm not sniffly or sneezy. I had gone out for a little today and soon after coming back I needed to lie down. I just felt a little achy and just not well. I'm not sure what is going on. We got our H1N1 shot on Monday and I'm wondering if I'm having a bit of a delayed reaction and it's just making me feel under the weather. It wouldn't be such a big deal except for the obvious. Little E. She really cannot get sick. I've been handling her very little today and using lots of Pure.ll. Hopefully I'll get some rest tonight (HA!) and feel better tomorrow. What I do know is that next post, it will be much more interesting and more substantial than me complaining. I have a few things floating around that I can share.

Oh yeah, one last thought. Maine sucks it. Hard.

Sound Track

Since I have been sprucing up the old blog I have now added a playlist that plays as you read. I am not the music person in this family so I will not take credit for the actual songs just the addition to the blog. The actual play list is the playlist that Shazam made for me to listen to when we went for our iuis. She called it swim swim. We listened to it as Ella was created and now when Ella is upset we go in her nursery and listen. It calms her right down and I like to think that she recognizes it. Two of the songs I particularly love to listen to. The Luckiest by Ben Folds is the song that we walked down the aisle to and Heavenly Day by Patty Griffin was our first dance song. I am sure Shazam will add to our playlist once she knows that it is on the blog. For now enjoy some tunes as your read.

Whoops

So in an attempt to shake things up a bit over hear on Darwin has 2 Mommies I decided to do have a new layout. I like it but unfortunately I erased the blog list! Whoops. I can remember some of them but if as I recreate the list you don't see your blog or if it wasn't there to begin with but you think I would like to read your blog leave your blog address in the comment section and I will update the list. Oh silly super sammy g!

So I decided that I should try and do NaBloPoMo. In reality since I skipped yesterday I have already failed but since I posted late on the 31st I am going to count that. I also think that if I post twice in one day over the month it makes up for it. I will try to get some of the posts that have been swimming in my head for the last few months into the blog and try not to rely on picture posts to fill in my days. I am sure I will resort to that at some point though! I wonder if saying you are doing NaBloPoMo counts as an actual post...That totally seems like cheating but hell if I can not get to another post today I am going to count it. That is it for now. Must come up with witty blog posts for the rest of the month. Requests will be taken. Anything you want to know about?

Halloween Fun

We had a nice Halloween last night. Ella and Darwin were lobsters. I thought about getting Drew a costume too but there was no way we were going to get that crazy cat in a costume. Ella was only in her costume a few minutes but that is because it was really hot and I didn't want to cook her. My parents came over and brought dinner (yummy home made spaghetti and meatballs!) and we hung out watched the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and handed out some candy. Our first holiday home as a family. Neither of us are huge Halloween fans but we rallied for the cause. I am sure it will be more fun when Ella can actually go out and trick or treat.

Ella in her Halloween Pajamas

Sweet little sleeping pumpkin!

Cutest lobster in town.

Ella is not so happy about her costume.Darwin as a matching crustacean.Grampa and Grammy with their favorite grandchild.Grammy having fun with Little E