So one of our readers had some suggestions about what we could blog about this month and one of them was what do we fear the most? I certainly have long-term fears but my most recent fear that is going to be here before we know it is the fear of SSG going back to work in early January. I fear that I am going to totally suck at being a stay-at-home mom until next summer when SSG is on summer break from teaching. I'm not sure if it's the sleep deprivation talking, but I am feeling lately like I am not quite cut out for being a parent. I am by nature not an incredibly patient person and I find myself getting frustrated with Little E, I get frustrated with what feels like endless crying, and I mostly get frustrated with myself that I'm not better at this. I am notoriously very hard on myself so maybe I should give myself a break but I watch SSG and she's amazing. She's patience and calm and I won't have that come January. I won't be able to pass Little E to her when I'm feeling overwhelmed and won't have her calming energy here at the apartment. The good thing is that SSG is a teacher and that means she will be home 3:00-3:30 most days and not like 6-7pm like in an office job. It is going to take some adjustment come January for everyone . While I don't feel lucky that I lost my job in May, I feel lucky I get to stay home with Little E for a while and keep her safe from daycare germs. I am fortunate I get to have that time. I just hope I can channel a calmer more patient Shazam.